From 2010s club bangers to horny Brazilian country music, these songs are a love letter to my 18-year-self—vestiges of whom became building blocks for the persona of Alias, who dances across the pages of Hemorrhaging Want & Water, sometimes taunting, and oftentimes at odds with desires for safety. When the boundaries of my body as a young woman were more molten and forming, there were individuals and systems that preyed upon this porousness. My intention with the work that became the book was to consciously write the experience of moving within systems that devalue, objectify, and punish certain expressions of womanhood. I aimed to explore the possibilities for “coming of age” stories that center place as an actor as much as any character or persona. And, so much of a place is its soundscape—the songs that flood bodies and provide an undercurrent to private, introspective, and identity-shaping moments.
These songs drip nostalgia. And, this playlist is a companion to the book in that it follows some arcs & undulations of the book or, at the very least, is in conversation with the sounds and feelings present in the poems. They toggle and orbit elliptically, cutting impossibly close to the heart of things then zooming out to a crowded street or peopled dance floor. How close is too close? This playlist explores a dance of proximity and distance, safety and risk.